The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (321SPONGEBOLT's version)
Theatrical Release Date - November 19, 2004 MPAA Rating - PG for Mild Crude Humor OPENING LOGOS (2004 version) NOTE: These are the opening logos from the original 2005 VHS and DVD, and also "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" 2009 Special Edition" Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack (released to promote the sequel, "Truth or Square".) You can only watch these logos if you like retro stuff. OPENING LOGOS (2014 Reprint version) NOTE: This is the alternate opening logo for Paramount Pictures. This can only be viewed on "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" 10th Anniversary Edition Blu-Ray 3D/Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack (released to promote third movie, "Sponge out of Water".) You can only watch these logos if you wanna be in the current. "Spongebob Squarepants Theme (Movie Version)" (After the Nickelodeon logo, the screen fades from black, revealing the sky. As the camera flies down to a pirate ship, subtitles appear on-screen saying "Paramount Pictures Presents", "A Nickelodeon Movies Production", and "in association with United Plankton Pictures". During these opening subtitles, two seagulls squawk and fly by.) (After the opening subtitles, we see a pirate with a telescope looking out into the horizon. In his vision, we see a pirate rowing a dinghy through the telescope.) Pirate on the Dinghy (With a trunk) (While rowing): I got it! I got it! I got it! Look-out Post Pirate: (Squints) Dinghy ahoy. (He then looks down to tell someone something) Dinghy off the port bow! Dinghy off the port bow! Pirate #1 (While standing on a rope ladder): Dinghy off the port bow! Off-screen Pirate: Dinghy off the port bow! Pirate #2 (Knocks a door saying "Captain's Quarters") Captain, dinghy off the...! (Gets slammed by the captain opening the door) Captain: Dinghy. Pirate on the Dinghy (With a trunk) (While rowing): I got it! I got it! (The pirate keeps rowing his dinghy with the treasure chest in it, and when he gets to the ship, the other pirates line up and pull a rope to help their pirate friend get on deck while he's still got the treasure in his hands. Then, the Captain pushes two pirates out of the way.) Where is it? (The captain's parrot on his shoulder squawks) Pirate on the Dinghy: It's right here, captain. (Hands the captain the chest and opens it) (Harmonious music begins playing as lights shine from inside the opened chest, even the Captain is impressed at the treasure inside.) Captain: I never thought I would see it, with me own eye. (Reaches in and pulls out movie tickets to "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie") Tickets to "The Spongebob Movie"! (The pirates cheer and set course for land as the movie version of the theme song cues up, then the next shot reveals the pirates singing and dancing to Spongebob's theme song.) Pirates (On-screen): ♪Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?♪ (The next shot has the movie's title on the ship mast) Pirates (Off-screen): ♪Spongebob Squarepants!♪ (Two pirates swing down to the poop deck on ropes) Pirates (On-screen): ♪Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.♪ (The next shot has a black flag with "Spongebob" on top of the skull, and "Squarepants" underneath it.) Pirates (Off-screen): ♪Spongebob Squarepants!♪ (A pirate is shown hula-hooping with the camera from the ceiling) Pirates (On-screen): ♪If nautical nonsense be something you wish...♪ (Down in the cellar, "Spongebob Squarepants" also appears on a barrel of beer. Pirates are shown drinking it and clinking their glasses for "cheers".) Pirates (Off-screen): ♪Spongebob Squarepants!♪ (We cut to outside the ship where a pirate is being pulled up by his foot, with a fish in his hand.) Pirates: ♪Then drop on a deck and flop like a fish.♪ (We cut to the pirates lined up with letter cards. The top row with cards spelling "SPONGEBOB", the bottom row with cards spelling "SQUAREPANTS".) ♪Spongebob Squarepants!♪ (To the music, each row lowers and raises their cards on cue.) ♪Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants!♪ Pirates (Off-screen): ♪Sponge... bob... Square... pants!♪ (The pirate ship stops at the dock by "Surf Theater", and the pirates barge into the theater to see the movie.) ♪Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants!♪ ♪Sponge... bob... Square... pants!♪ (The female usher is shocked that actual pirates came to see the movie, yet, the Captain hands her the tickets at the booth she cowers behind. The next shot has the pirates holding bags of popcorn as the camera rotates.) ♪Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants!♪ (The door to the screening room busts open, and the pirates enter and sit in the front row, as if they received VIP seats.) Pirate soloist: ♪Sp-ahhh-ah-ahhh-ah-ngebob... SQUAREAAAAAAANTS!♪♪ (The curtains open and the camera zooms into the theater screen, where we see the island from the opening of the actually TV show. The music then ends on the final note.) "No Cheese!" French Narrator: Ah, the sea. So mysterious, so beautiful, so... uh, wet. (Camera sinks down into the ocean) Our story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery, (Camera stops as we see the Krusty Krab) the Krusty Krab restaurant. Where... (Suddenly, Officer Johnson pops up from under the screen with his hands open.) Officer Johnson: Back up! Back up! (Officer Nancy O'Malley blows her whistle as the camera zooms away, showing the police surrounding the Krusty Krab.) You! Back up! French Narrator: Hey, wait a minute. What is happening? (Camera flies over to the left, where we see Mr. Krabs surrounded by cameramen and interviewers.) Mr. Krabs (Scared): Please! Settle down.We've got a situation in there. I'd rather not discuss 'till me manager gets here. Off-screen Female Fish: Look, there he is. (We cut over to a black limousine boat with an orange fire paint job driving up to the camera, and it parks in position. Then, the front door opens, with Spongebob's foot wearing a black boot with an "S" stepping out. Then the camera flies up, revealing Spongebob. During the next shot, the camera follows him as he talks to Mr. Krabs, while holding a bottle of blowing bubbles.) Spongebob: Talk to me, Krabs. Mr. Krabs (Scared): Oh. It started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese. (The camera stops moving when Mr. Krabs says "a Krabby Patty with cheese".) Spongebob: (Blows a bubble from his bubble wand) So what went wrong? Mr. Krabs (Scared): When the customer took a bite, NO CHEESE! Spongebob: (As Mr. Krabs cries, Spongebob slaps him.) Pull it together, Eugene. (Camera zooms in on his face) I'm going it. (Walks out the shot) (We cut to an outer shot with Spongebob walking into the Krusty Krab as the others watch, until Spongebob makes it to the door, where we cut to inside the Krusty Krab, where Spongebob opens the double doors and sees a pink fish named Phil shaking in fear.) Take it easy, friend. Phil (Nervous): W-who are you? Spongebob: I'm the manager of this establishment. (Puts his silver briefcase on the table next to Phil) Everything's gonna be just fine. (Opens his briefcase) You got a name? Phil (Nervous): Phil? Spongebob: (Pulls out a pair of black leather gloves) Got a family, Phil? (We cut to Phil tensing up as the camera zooms in on him, then we cut to Spongebob, now wearing gloves snapping his fingers with one hand.) Come on, Phil. Stay with me let's here about that family. Phil: I got a wife and two beautiful children. Spongebob: (Puts on a headset) That's what it's all about. (We cut to Spongebob looking into the inside of his briefcase for the right tool to use. There's a pencil, a hammer, a wrench, tweezers, a bolt cutter, a screwdriver, and a welder. He aims his pointed finger at each item while he talks.) Spongebob: I want you to do me a favor, Phil. (Camera cuts to Spongebob pointing at his briefcase) Bingo. Phil (Shocked): What? (We cut to Spongebob using tweezers to carry a slice of cheese) Spongebob: Say "cheese". (Ever so delicately, Spongebob uses his other hand to lift the top bun. Beeping is heard as the camera switches from his eyes, to the cheese, to Phil shaking, to Spongebob's hand lifting the top bun, to Spongebob's eyes, to the cheese, to Spongebob's hand lifting the top bun, Spongebob's eyes blinking, to the cheese, Phil shaking, to Spongebob's hand lifting the top bun, to Spongebob's eyes blinking, to the cheese, and finally to Spongebob sweating. Then the beeping stops as the camera shows Spongebob putting the slice of cheese on top of the slices of tomato and lettuce. Spongebob puts the top bun back in its place. Then Fred smiles, and the camera cuts to the front door as Spongebob's foot kicks them open, causing the crowd to gasp. Another shot shows Spongebob out of his spy gear, with Phil in his arms, who is holding up the Krabby Patty with cheese in his fin. The camera then zooms in on Spongebob's face. The krabby patty shines before Spongebob speaks up.) Spongebob: Order up. Crowd of Fish: Getting ready for work Plankton's Plan Z Krusty Krab 2 Manager Position King Neptune's crown gets stolen (We cut to the outside of Bikini Bottom, as day fades to night.) French Narrator: Later zat that evening... (Plankton is shown wearing a helicopter pack and is flying over to King Neptune's castle) Plankton (While flying): Time to put Plan Z into effect. Starting at the undersea castle of King Neptune. () Mindy: It covers your bald spot. King Neptune (Movie): It's not bald! It's... thinning. But that's beside the point. This crown does much more than cover a slightly receding ree-see-ding hairline. No, this crown entitles the one who wears it to be in charge of the sea. (King Neptune swims to the pedestal with a royal blue pillow and sets his crown down on it, then looks at himself in the mirror. As he looks at his bald spot, the camera zooms in on the crown, with Plankton popping up from behind it and is snickering.) One day, you will wear this crown. Mindy (Shocked): I'm gonna be bald!? King Neptune (Movie): Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you won't wear it until you learn how to rule with an iron fist. (Grabs his pillow and wears it on his head instead of his crown, which had been stolen.) Like your father and uncle. Goofy Goober's Party Boat King Neptune arrives at the Krusty Krab () King Neptune (Movie): Nay! I'm on to you, Krabs! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny! For, clever as you are, you left one [Dolphin chirp] piece of evidence at the scene of the crime! (Holds up a letter in front of Mr. Krabs' eyes) Mr. Krabs: (Reads the message) "I stole your crown. Signed," (Eyes pop open) Eugene Krabs?! King Neptune (Movie): Relinquish the royal crown to me at once! Mr. Krabs: But... But this is crazy! I didn't do it! (Mr. Krabs' phone suddenly answers and we hear Mr. Krabs' voicemail) Mr. Krabs' voicemail: Ahoy, this is Eugene Krabs. Leave a message. BEEP! Clay's voice: Hi, Mr. Krabs. This is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to. Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. (All the while, during the voicemail, Mr. Krabs tries to either hang up or destroy the phone, but nothing works.) I sold it to a guy in Shell City, and I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye. Mr. Krabs: Heh, heh... Don't you just hate wrong numbers? King Neptune (Movie) (Voice Echoing): MY CROWN IS IN SHELL CITY!? (Screams) (We cut to outside, where it was Plankton who left the voicemail to set up Mr. Krabs by impersonating another fish in Bikini Bottom.) Plankton: Plan Z. I love Plan Z. (We cut back to inside the Krusty Krab, with Neptune screaming.) King Neptune (Movie) (Mad) (Voice Echoing): Prepare to burn, Krabs! (Aims his trident as it burns with fire) Mr. Krabs (Groveling for mercy): Wait, Neptune! Please, I'm begging you! I ain't a crook! Ask anyone, they'll vouch for me! King Neptune (Movie): Very well. (Turns to the customers at the tables) Very well, then. Before I turn this conniving con-eye-ving crustacean into fishmeal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs? (We hear Spongebob's panting, and the camera flies over to Spongebob, still drunk and angry, who just opened the door.) Spongebob (Drunk) (Mad): I've got something to say about Mr. (Burps) Krabs. (Hobbles over to Mr. Krabs) Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy, you've come just in time. Please, tell King Neptune all about me. Spongebob (Drunk): I've worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and thought he was a great boss. Mr. Krabs: You see? A great boss. Spongebob (Drunk) (Mad) (Off-screen): I now realize that he's nothing but a great fat selfish jerk who only cares for himself! Mr. Krabs (Scared): (His smile suddenly turns to shock) WHAT!? Spongebob (Drunk) (Mad): You sold me to The Flying Dutchman for sixty-two 62 cents! Not to mention the fact that you used me and Squidward as live bait for a giant clam! And for what? A MILLIONTH DOLLAR! (The crowd gasps at this, then Neptune glares at Mr. Krabs in suspicion.) King Neptune (Movie) (Suspicious): Is this true? Spongebob (Drunk) (Mad): (To Neptune) Yes. (Turns back to Mr. Krabs) But that's not even the worst part! You just had to give that manager's job to Squidward instead of your most trusted and loyal employee! Mr. Krabs (Nervous): Oh. (Nervously chuckles) Okay, I admit it. Maybe I made a few mistakes in the past, but Spongebob, what do those have to do with any of this? Spongebob (Drunk and Angry): I'' DESERVED THAT MANAGER'S JOB! But you never gave it to me, because you said I'm a kid. Well, I am 100% man! And this ''man has got something to say to you. (Blows a long raspberry) King Neptune (Movie) (Confused): Are you finished? Spongebob (Drunk): Not yet. (Blows another raspberry, then smiles confidently.) There! I think I made my point. King Neptune (Movie): Anyone else? (After 3 seconds of silence) No? Well, then. (King Neptune points his trident at Mr. Krabs and shoots a fire beam at him. Mr. Krabs screams in pain and flies out of the shot. Spongebob opens his eyes in shock and isn't drunk anymore. Then we see Mr. Krabs bouncing off the ceiling while his butt's on fire.) Mr. Krabs (While burning): Ooh! Me pants are on fire! (Runs out of the shot to the right, then runs back into the shot with just his underwear on.) Me pants are on fire! (Runs out of the shot to the left, then runs back into the shot with no clothes on.) I'M ON FIRE! (Jumps into a mop bucket and rises from underwater with his clothes magically back on.) Oh, yeah. King Neptune (Movie) (Mad) (Voice Echoing): And now, Eugene Krabs, (Points his trident at Mr. Krabs, preparing to burn him again.) you... will... Spongebob: (Stands in front of Mr. Krabs) Wait! (Jumps onto the palm of Neptune's hand) I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth killing Mr. Krabs over. King Neptune (Movie) (Mad): Quiet, fool! He still took my crown, and now it's in Shell City. That's why he must die. Spongebob: Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown? It's better to just not forgive him, then not let him live. Mr. Krabs (Gritting his teeth): Not helping, boy. King Neptune (Movie) (Mad) (Voice Echoing): SILENCE! King Neptune (Movie) (Sad): You don't understand. My crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit. The Patty Wagon Spongebob and Patrick at the Gas Station Breaking News with Plankton Retrieving the key to the Patty Wagon Bubble Blowing Baby Hunt (Patrick is shown at a urinal, smiling straight at the camera. Behind him, Spongebob slams open to the door angrily.) Spongebob (Mad): Patrick! You call that a distraction? Squidward gets captures by Plankton Monster Chase Planktopolis Spongebob and Patrick become men NOTE: No fall sound effect is used when Spongebob and Patrick jump off the cliff. Only this wind sound. () Mindy: I said, now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City? Spongebob (Mustache) and Patrick (Mustache): Heck, yeah! Mindy: Are men afraid of anything? Spongebob (Mustache) and Patrick (Mustache): Heck, no! Mindy: And why? Spongebob (Mustache) and Patrick (Mustache): Because we're invincible! (They jump off the cliff and fall into the ravine) (The camera pulls away from Mindy as the boys fall) Mindy: I never said that! (We cut to Spongebob and Patrick falling. No fall sounds are heard, just the wind.) Spongebob (Mustache) (While falling): (Strikes a pose) Yeah! Patrick (Mustache) (While falling): (Strikes a pose) Yeah! Spongebob (Mustache) (While falling): (Strikes a pose) Yeah! Patrick (Mustache) (While falling): (Strikes a pose) Yeah! Spongebob (Mustache) (While falling): (Strikes a pose) Yeah! Patrick (Mustache) (While falling): (Strikes a pose) Yeah! Spongebob (Mustache) (While falling): (Strikes a pose) Yeah! Patrick (Mustache) (While falling): (Strikes a pose) Yeah! (Spongebob and Patrick hug and laugh, then when they let go, Spongebob's "Yeah" sound clip from "Wet Painters" is reused.) Spongebob (Mustache) (While falling): Yeah. (After 5 seconds of silence, he remembers something.) Patrick? Patrick (Mustache) (While falling): Yeah, buddy? Spongebob (Mustache) (While falling): Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs? Patrick (Mustache) (While falling): Bec... well... (The camera zooms to the ground accompanied by an airplane zoom, then we cut back to Spongebob and Patrick hugging and screaming as they fall. Suddenly, a branch catches them and they slowly touch the ground.) "Now That We're Men" Caught by the cyclops Spongebob and Patrick in Shell City Spongebob and Patrick meet David Hasselhoff (With Spongebob and Patrick all dried up, the camera zooms out of the movie theater screen, and we cut to the pirates crying for Spongebob and Patrick's deaths.) Captain (Crying): That's the end of Spongebob! Parrot: (Squawks) Shut up and look at the screen. Captain: (Gasps in realization) The bird's right! (Points at the screen) Look! (We cut back to the movie, which the heart-shaped tear forms a normal tear as it rolls down.) Captain (Off-screen): (Gasps in realization) It be the tear of the Goofy Goobers! Spongebob and Patrick VS. Dennis/Stalling A bucket helmet fit for King Neptune "Goofy Goober Rock" Spongebob finally becomes manager! End Credits "Ocean Man" by Ween Ween: (After the song, the rest of the credits scroll up as the background shows rolling waves.) "Spongebob and Patrick Confront the Psychic Wall of Energy" by The Flaming Lips Flaming Lips: "Just a kid" by Wilco Wilco: "The Best Day Ever" by Tom Kenny Spongebob: ♪Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me.♪ ♪He said, "It's gonna be a good one, just wait and see.".♪ ♪Jumped out of bed, and I ran outside (Runs along the outside wall of his house) feeling so ecstatic, satisfied!♪ ♪It's the best... day... ever!♪ Chorus: ♪Best... day... ever!♪ Spongebob: ♪It's the best... day... ever!♪ Chorus: ♪Best... day... ever!♪ Spongebob: ♪I'm so busy, got nothing to do.♪ ♪Spent the last two hours just tying my shoe.♪ ♪Every flower, every grain of sand, is reaching out to shake my hand.♪ ♪It's the best... day... ever!♪ Chorus: ♪Best... day... ever!♪ Spongebob: ♪It's the best... day... ever!♪ Chorus: ♪Best... day... ever!♪ Spongebob: ♪Sometimes the little things start closing in on me.♪ ♪When I'm feeling down, I wanna lose that frown. I stuck my head out the window and I looked around.♪ ♪Those clouds don't scare me they can't disguise, this magic that's happened right before my eyes.♪ ♪Soon Mr. Moon will be shining bright, so the best day ever can last all night.♪ Spongebob and Chorus: ♪Yeah, the best day ever's gonna last all night now.♪ Spongebob: ♪It's the best... day... ever!♪ Chorus: ♪Best... day... ever!♪ Spongebob: ♪It's the best... day... ever!♪ Chorus: ♪Best... day... ever!♪ Spongebob: ♪It's the best... day... ever!♪ Chorus: ♪Best... day... ever!♪ Spongebob: ♪It's the best... day... ever!♪ Chorus: ♪Best... day... ever!♪ (Song starts to fade out) Chorus (Voices fading out): ♪Best... day... ever!♪ Chorus (Voices fading out): ♪Best... day... ever!♪♪ Post-Credits Ending ("You folks have to leave") NOTE: The televised version actually plays the post-credits scene after "Ocean Man". (After the credits end as "The Best Day Ever" fades out, the curtains close and we cut back to the theater with the pirates.) Captain: You know. David Hasselhoff is a great artist. Female Usher: Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave. (Pirates groan angrily) Captain (Mad): What? (Pulls out a sword and aims for her neck) Say that again, if you dare. (His parrot squawks) Female Usher: You folks have to leave. Captain: (Shrugs it off) Okay. (As the parrot squawks and the pirates leave the theater yelling "Arr!" or "Yarr!", the usher sweeps to the right humming until she's out of the shot and the screen fades to black.) THE END CLOSING LOGOS (2004 version) NOTE: These are the opening logos from the original 2005 VHS and DVD, and also "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" 2009 Special Edition" Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack (released to promote the sequel, "Truth or Square".) You can only watch these logos if you like retro stuff. CLOSING LOGOS - #Paramount Pictures closing logo (2003-2009 version) frame #Nickelodeon Movies (2000-2006 version) frame CLOSING LOGOS (2014 Reprint version) NOTE: This is the alternate opening logo for Paramount Pictures. This can only be viewed on "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" 10th Anniversary Edition Blu-Ray 3D/Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack (released to promote third movie, "Sponge out of Water".) You can only watch these logos if you wanna be in the current. CLOSING LOGOS - #Paramount Pictures closing logo (2013-Present version) frame #Nickelodeon Movies (2011-2019 version) frame Trivia * Neptune's line "Like your father and uncle." is based on a theory I https://spongebob-fanon.fandom.com/wiki/User:321SPONGEBOLT 321SPONGEBOLT have where the movie version of Neptune, and the King Neptune we see regularly in the series are considered brothers, which wouldn't be out of the question. * Unlike the normal version, my version mentions past events of the TV series to give it what Stephen Hillenburg would have initially envisioned, since this film was suppose to end the series before its critical and financial success prompted Nickelodeon to revive it for more seasons, and give the first movie more sequels to spare. W.I.P. Category:321SPONGEBOLT Category:Transcripts Category:Fanon Works Category:Rewritten Versions of Episodes